


I just really wanna go

by orphan_account



Category: Real Person Fiction
Genre: Ableism, Ableist Language, And Autism, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family Bonding, Family Dynamics, Family Issues, Fluff and Angst, Foster Care, Fundy is a furry, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, I swear, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, More Characters will be added too, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Child Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, References to Depression, Slurs, Social Anxiety, Suicidal Thoughts, Trauma, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, fundy and tommy are good friends, its not as bad as it sounds, like he has a fursona and everything, neurodivergent tommyinnit, techno has adhd as well, tommy and techno will have a rly nice dynamic probably, tommy uses he/they and hy/hyper pronouns, tommyinnit has adhd, yes im projecting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-20
Updated: 2020-11-27
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:01:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27643822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: things are going to be different.TW: past child abuse, self harm, suicidal thoughts, stimming-title from 'i met sarah in the bathroom' by awfultuneif tommy ever says hes uncomfy with stuff like this pls send me a clip and ill take it down asap :D
Relationships: Dave | Technoblade & TommyInnit, Dave | Technoblade & Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit & Phil Watson, Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit, TommyInnit & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit
Comments: 48
Kudos: 673





	1. I can hear the sound of breaking down

**Author's Note:**

> TW- r slur, ableism, car crashes, drunk driving mention, death of parents, abuse mentions

Tommy’s hands flapped as he sat in the car on his way to his new foster home. The ride was bumpy, long, uncomfortable, and made the blonde boy feel like vomiting. Unbearable sounds came from the radio up front, wind rushed through the open windows, his social worker’s long, painted nails tapped against the steering wheel repeatedly, making an incredibly loud sound that he disliked. All of these sounds mixed together made him feel disgusting, and he felt like crying. His leg bounced up and down uncontrollably, his hands flapping in rapid motion. 

He was stimming out of uncomfortableness and stress. He didnt like it, he never liked it. But it came with free with his fuckin’ adhd and autism. Tommy was diagnosed first with adhd, and then autism, at maybe 7 years old. He was 15 now, and he could cope with them, but he didnt have to like it.

His parents died from a freak accident when he was 8, they were out driving ~~to get away from him~~ and a drunk driver crashed into them, hard. He didnt like going into detail, but it was very, very bad.. Ever since then, the british boy had been in foster care, jumping from one shitty foster home to another. Currently, he was on the way to another. Phil was his new foster “dad”’s name, and he was told the man also had 2 other children, one who also had adhd. That was almost comforting to know, if they were nice then maybe them and tommy could be.. friends? Hopefully.

All of his foster homes so far had been shitty, abusive, and traumatizing. He had gone through so much shit and such a young age, and that really fucked him up. He felt dread fill him every time this car ride happened. He knew what would happen, what always happened. He’d arrive, they’d act all nice, forcing their smiles that never truly met their eyes, he would act difficult, they wouldnt understand his autism, they would tell him to ‘ _ just focus’  _ when he told them of his adhd, he’d have a breakdown, probably, they’d get fed up, and the next day his bag is packed ‘nd he’s gone. 

It’s almost funny to him, how it was always the same routine. How no neurotypicals cared enough to even try to understand how he felt, how he was always called a  _ freak  _ and a  _ retard  _ whenever his hands would flap, or he would vocally stim, and how he was always treated as some ‘pet’. The popular kids in school would always act nice to him, treat him like a human being ~~kinda~~ and be his friend, protect him from the teasing. Then when he told people how nice they were to him, theyd turn abusive and hateful in private, having got their “validation”. He was sick of it. 

  
  


_ But maybe, just maybe, this time would be different..? _


	2. Still wear the same shoes I did back then

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tommy meets phil :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> no warnings!! this is just tommy meeting phil kinda, techno and wilbur will come in next chapter probs :D   
> chapter title is from scrawny by wallows

The car pulled into a neighborhood, a neighborhood with large white houses, perfect gardens, expensive cars in their driveways, and an expensive feel in the air. Tommy briefly wonders if they took a wrong turn, his leg bouncing up and down as he ponders. The last 'rich' neighborhood he had been in didn't like him, they were stuck up and thought they were better than him just because his clothes were a little old and his shoes falling apart. Needless to say he was out of there pretty quickly. 

His social worker turned around in her seat to face him as the car came to a stop. "we're here, kid. behave, please. just this once, try..?" she said, sounding exasperated. Tommy sighed slightly in his head, this happened every time. "okay, ma'am. i'll try" he wouldn't try. He did behave, but people still thought he was being rude. Tommy thought he was pretty polite, actually. but other people didn't, he guesses. oh well, their call. 

In the time he was thinking, his social worker had gotten out of the car and opened the door for him. He snapped back to reality and clambered out of the stuffy mini van, relieved to finally get some fresh air. The house in front of him was large, with all-white walls, a fancy-looking door, multiple plants out front, a bird bath, at least two stories (maybe three), and other rich people stuff. It had a surprisingly welcoming feel, which he didn't expect from this type of upper-class neighborhood. 

the door opened and a kind looking man stood where the door once was. he wore a green and white striped bucket hat, green V-neck, and a gray robe. he had a comforting look to him, kind eyes that turned into a crescent shape as he smiled at them, a genuine smile that reached his warm blue eyes. Tommy thought he looked neat. but so did /they/, and /they/ turned out not nice.. he pushed the thought to the back of his head. different. things were going to be different here. 

he realized people were talking and brought himself back to reality. his social worker told the man that Tommy was a "troublemaker" and "didn't like to behave". It was upsetting to him, it was all false. his hands started flapping lightly and he tried to calm himself, forcing his hands to stop. The man looked over to him and smiled kindly, he must've noticed Tommy's stimming. was he going to yell? berate him for something tommy couldn't control..? 

"You okay? would you like to head inside?" the man asked kindly, gentle concern sounded in his voice. he was probably just being nice because the social worker was still here. or, maybe.. maybe he would be different? tommy doubted it. nevertheless, he nodded. he couldn't stand hearing her screechy voice go on and on about how much of a problem child he is. the man stepped aside, revealing a cozy-looking living room, something he didn't expect from the modern and rich looking house. he shuffled inside, awkwardly standing in the vestibule of the house, taking in his surroundings. 

there was a comfortable-looking brown couch, with a few pictures hanging up over it. a tv was attached to the wall opposite of the couch, it was a flat screen, not too big but not too small. a soft rug sat on the floor in-between the couch and tv, it looked fluffy and cozy. there was a kitchen off in the distance that he could see bits of, as well as a staircase, presumably leading to where the bedrooms were. next to his feet was a shoe rack holding multiple pairs of shoes, all different sizes and colors. they looked expensive and well taken care of, unlike his, which were dirty and falling apart. None of his foster families bothered to get him new ones, opting to use the money they got ~~_to_ _take care of him_~~ on luxuries for themselves, leaving him with the same raggedy shoes he always wore. it didn't really bother him, though. 

The man must have realized he had spaced out and wrapped up the conversation with the social worker. He called Tommy's name a few times, deciding not to tap him as he didn't know how the boy would react to the touches. It took a few tries but Tommy eventually zoned in and apologized as he took off his shoes. the man smiled lightly before talking to him once again.

"Hello! My names Phil, or Philza, you can call me whichever you prefer. I already know your name so I wont bother asking, but I will ask; do you have a preferred name or nickname? or is just tom fine? I'd like for you to feel as comfortable as you can around me." ~~the man~~ _ Phil _ smiled at him, and his ocean blue eyes made Tommy feel somewhat calm. 

"Tommy is okay, I don't like being called tom." he answered honestly, fiddling with his fingers lightly. Phil nodded, filing that information away in his mind. they walked more into the main room, Phil showing him what things were and explaining the house rules.  _ "don't destroy anything on purpose, and try not to hide anything important. help is always okay to ask for" _ he said, tommy nodded and decided he'd try his best to follow them. he was naturally a very private person, and opted to fix things himself rather than ask for help. but if asking for help meant the man would continue being this nice, he would try. 

Maybe things really would be different, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> updates might be slow as im not the best or quickest writer, but ill try to put at least 2 out every week :] comments are appreciated but not necessary:D ALSO !! sorry this chapter isnt 1000+ words, its early in the morning and the paranoia is starting to hit so i couldnt write that much :( hope its still okay
> 
> ( also if theres any spelling mistakes or lines that dont make sense, please tell me!! D: im autistic so sometimes they might sound weird or stuff )


	3. Put me in the dirt, let me dream with the stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tommy meets techno :D

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cw for slight stimming 
> 
> chapter title from R.I.P. 2 My Youth by The Neighbourhood

Phil had shown Tommy around the majority of the house, obviously not showing him the inside of wilbur or technos rooms. privacy was important to everyone in this family, and phil respected that, which tommy liked. From what he had seen of Phil so far, the older man was very kind and considerate, making sure to respect their boundaries and not touch Tommy unless he was sure hy was okay with it. It made Tommy smile slightly on the inside. 

Now, Phil was taking him to meet his 'brothers,' Wilbur and techno. Tommy thought Techno was an incredibly cool name and said that the first time Phil told them his name. Phil smiled and laughed lightly, saying Techno would be happy to hear that.

Phil decided it would be best for Wilbur and Techno to meet Tommy separately, seeing as the two could be quite chaotic when together, which is something he thought Tommy wouldn't really appreciate as a first meeting. seeing as Techno was the calmest of the two, he would meet Tommy first. which is why they were standing in front of Techno’s bedroom door, Tommy hiding himself behind the older man slightly, nervous and shaky. 

Phil knocked on techno's door and a few seconds later, the door opened slightly, red eyes peeking through. The pink haired individual opened it more as he saw his father standing there, even if it was with someone else he didn't know. Phil smiled and introduced Tommy to techno, eventually leaving them to converse on their own. 

"Hey.. I'm Techno. Wait, you probably already knew that, nevermind." The pink haired boy said, fiddling with the many rings on his fingers awkwardly. Tommy smiled a small, polite smile and nodded softly, taking the boys now silence as an invitation to now talk about himself. "Uhh, I'm Tommy, I guess, even though you already knew that as well probably. Um, how are you?" the younger asked, sounding almost unsure of himself. Techno looked up and replied saying he's good, thank you. before going on to ask Tommy the same question. Tommy answered basically the same, and the two plunged into an awkward silence. After a few moments of absolute silence, Techno spoke. "Would you, uhh, want to come into my room..?" The pink haired boy asked unsurely, glancing briefly to his room before looking back at the shorter boy. Tommy nodded after a second or two, and they both headed into the room. 

Techno's room wasn't boring, but it also wasn't an extremely exciting sight. The walls were painted a light pink-ish color, a twin bed with a fluffy red comforter sat pushed in the corner of the room, there were a few pink bean bag chairs on the ground, a desk with what looked to be a gaming setup, and a couple bookshelves, overflowing with different shapes and sizes of books. It was nice looking, and had a cozy feel to it. The color scheme of red, pink, white, and accents of gold was nice to look at, easy on the eyes. Tommy also spotted a few stim toys strewn about the room, and figured that Techno must be the sibling who also had ADHD. 

Tommy sat on one of the pink bean bag chairs, and found out that they were quite comfortable. Techno sat on his bed, and fiddled with a mini rubiks cube. The two sat in silence for a while again, one that was comfortable, instead of awkward like it had been before. The blonde boy bounced his legs slightly as he thought about anything and everything, analyzing his surroundings more. Techno thought about how Tommy was feeling, and if the younger liked his room.

Techno spoke again after about five minutes, "do, uhh, do you like it?" Tommy jumped slightly, not expecting the sudden conversation, but replying nonetheless. "Pardon? ...OH! the room, yeah, It's cozy, I like the colors 'nd shit" he said honestly, nodding as they spoke. Techno smiled, happy that the other liked his room, and Tommy smiled back. He liked Techno, hy decided. The older boy was nice, and did not push him to talk or anything. Tommy mused that it was probably because they both had ADHD, and the older could realize how he felt. To be honest, Tommy and Techno were probably having similar feelings, both had been introduced to an almost complete stranger, then left alone to talk to that stranger. No longer were they strangers, yes, but they still had much to learn about each other. Neither knew what the others hobbies were, their favorite color, favorite food, and other small trivial things related to that. 

None of the boys were any good at small talk, and decided to just sit with each other's company. It was quite nice, actually, to sit and think with someone else doing the same in the room. They weren't the best at socializing, but they were comfortable around each other already, which was a big surprise to Tommy. 

Usually, Tommy was never comfortable around anyone in his foster 'family', but this household was.. different. Phil was nice and understanding, considerate and patient like a dad should be. Techno was nice even if he was awkward, and shared a lot of similarities to the younger blonde boy. Tommy secretly hoped that the two would become good friends and hoped that the older boy felt the same. It was weird, having positive feelings towards a foster home for once, but it was a welcomed change.

Breaking the silence, Tommy asked Techno what his favorite game was. The blonde boy loved games and gaming in general, so maybe him and Techno would have something in common? He hoped. Techno looked slightly startled at the sudden question, but quickly recovered and went back to his calm expression. "I enjoy playing.. Minecraft. Its one of my, uh, hyperfixations." he answered after a second of thought. Tommy smiled largely, and excitedly told Techno that Minecraft was, infact, one of hys hyperfixations as well, to which Techno smiled. Tommy absent-mindedly noted that two of Techno's bottom teeth were somewhat sharp, like reverse-fangs or something. 

The two continued to bond over Minecraft, Techno sharing that he had a minecraft youtube channel and Tommy replying with a secret that he had been wanting to start an MC channel as well. About thirty or so minutes passed until Phil came in to check on them, and was visibly relieved that the two seemed to get along as well as they did. 

But, it was time for Tommy to meet Wilbur, Philza's other child. And if Tommy got visibly nervous, and he started fiddling with his fingers once again, no one said anything. 

Things were shaping up to be very, very different.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hihi !! i know this was supposed to be where tommy meets techno AND wilbur but its really early in the morning and ive been writing since i woke up so i decided to break the meetings into two chapters instead of one, sry :( but there might be a double update for today if i feel like it? :O hope this is okay, comments r appreciated but not required :D


	4. little authors note

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> just wanna say smth

hey lol first of all, sry for no updates in the past few days. im trying to work out what i want wilburs character to be like in this fic and what him and tommys dynamic is gonna be and ive been struggling with it a bit. i wanna make the chapter atleast 1200 words and i currently only have like 200 D: but its a work in progress. so sorry abt that :(( BUT !! what i really wanted to say is:

stop commenting if you have something negative to say, i dont care and i will not read it. im just gonna delete it, youre wasting your time. im not doing anything wrong, im not writing anything like pedophilia or anything illegal like that, it isnt hurting anyone, plus theyll probably never ever see this so ?? whats the fucking problem? just leave me alone lol because im simply not going to put anything you say thats negative to use. if you think its weirdchamp, just scroll and dont read. dont comment, its wasting both your time and mine.

thats all, byebye :D make sure to drink water, take ur meds, and get sleep :))


End file.
